In my most favorite episode of Bar Rescue ever, Jon gives us a living example of the principles and practices he describes in his book, The Power of Conflict, and demonstrates his remarkable ability to ferry people through conflict and into loving connection with one another. As Jon proclaims, “If I don’t fix this family and cause them to treat each other with respect and dignity and accountability, I’ll never fix this bar.”

A tenet of Jon’s approach to bar rescue—or any small business rescue—is that, in order to fix a business, he’s got to fix the people owning and running it. It’s true almost every week, but usually there are other issues, too, that dominate the storyline, like being drunk on the job, womanizing, arguments over a name change, employees not being paid, the owner being absent, health code violations, stealing, animals living and shitting in the bar, etc. This week, though, the primary and secondary issues all revolve around a deep divide between owner AJ Cabral and his sister and general manager, Sabrina. And, well, Lupe’s cooking.

AJ is the owner of Finesse Lounge, a less than upscale establishment in Banning, California. He opened the bar to honor his father and grandfather, as well as to provide for his extended family. His sisters, Sabrina and Marleen, and his nephew, Jason, all work there. Other employees include bartender Gary and cook Lupe.

AJ owns several other, successful businesses, and this one was profitable until Sabrina took over. Sabrina drinks at work, doesn’t follow through on her responsibilities, and makes excuses for why she is failing. Sabrina says the issues are that AJ’s standards are so high no one can meet them and that she has never been properly trained. As a result, Finesse is losing $5,000 a month, AJ is about a quarter of a million dollars in debt, and family tensions are very high.

During recon, Jon’s spies order a Sweet Potato Flight and a salad, but no one knows what the flight is, and Gary ends up serving a flight of flavored vodka shots instead of cocktails. The salad is never brought out in an hour’s time. The kitchen is dirty, and Lupe brings in food made at home, which is illegal and dangerous and is terribly upsetting to Jon, who tells everyone, “This is the worst looking food I’ve ever seen. The rice and the beans are the same color, which is the same color as the taco, which is the same color as the cheese. It’s fricken AWFUL. I mean, it looks like shit on a shit plate that doesn’t even fit the fricken food. Is it even hot?” It is, barely. Then he shakes his head while admonishing them for having no family pride.

I shake my head because I only eat from the “white food group,” so I was down with Lupe’s home cooking until I realized Jon wouldn’t come over for dinner if I served it—or something just as monochromatic and delicious like I had eaten only an hour ago. Of course, I should already know this situation exists because back in “S4E7: Dash of Bitters,” Jon tells us a bit of bar science–he can charge more if there’s three colors on a plate! But I digress.

Taking an hour to serve a salad doesn’t fly with Jon and stands as his benchmark for just how terrible Finesse actually is. Sabrina tries to defend herself by saying things like, “I don’t do flights,” but Jon points out that there is a whole page of them in the menu. Oops.

Sabrina tries to share the blame with AJ next, saying, “Not just I failed. He failed. He didn’t train all of us.” Then she adds that she isn’t the reason the bar is failing because she doesn’t have anything to do with the books, which makes me think she must be a better cook than Lupe, if you know what I mean.

Jon turns to AJ and asks, “Is she as much full of shit as I think she is?”

AJ responds with an affirmative, and Jon continues, “I’m not going to let you be the excuse queen anymore. You know what you did? You fucked him over. That’s what you did. You fucked him over.”

Sabrina has had enough. “Pftt. I’m taking a shot,” she says. Then, true to her word, she leaves to take a shot with a couple of customers sitting at the bar. She tells us in a candid moment, “Jon said I fucked over my brother. I don’t know how.” She is obviously very bothered by what Jon said, and he seems to have reached her because she pensively continues, “Excuse queen? I dunno…maybe I am?”

Jon once again laments that they couldn’t get a salad out in an hour and adds emphasis by repeating it a second time. He informs us that he can’t imagine the work he has cut out for him the next day because the place is such a mess. He and AJ have a conversation in a bonus scene that airs between commercials, and they discuss AJ’s “major problem,” which is how much of a nightmare it is to manage family because you can’t fire them. After seeing that scene, I can’t help but interpret Jon’s remarks about how much work lies ahead for him as a reflection of the tangled mess of family conflict at play in Finesse Lounge.

Another thing I notice is that Jon seems to have taken sides with AJ, and I’m surprised. Although AJ appears to be both reasonable and successful, it’s odd to me that Jon hasn’t gone after him for not training his staff, especially his GM. Sabrina mentions not being trained a couple of times, but Jon seems to align with AJ’s story of how terrible Sabrina is as a GM, as though it’s her choice although she was never fully trained to be a GM.

One of the reasons I’m perplexed is because I just watched “S4E23: It’s Always Sunny in Portland,” where Oleg Pilipenko treated his daughter, GM Sunny, just like AJ is treating Sabrina, and Jon lays into Oleg for dropping the ball and not training Sunny. The scene is quite memorable because Oleg sits in the SUV with Jon during recon, pouring his heart out about how shitty Sunny has been as a GM and it seems like Jon believes him. Oleg is a little smug when Jon confronts Sunny, but the narrative quickly changes when Jon sees that Oleg isn’t treating Sunny with respect. Jon lays into Oleg about not training Sunny and reverses the whole story, forcing Oleg to become accountable for his lack of support. I am expecting a similar situation in this episode, but it isn’t happening yet.

AJ has reiterated numerous times that he is responsible for the bar, and I continue to wonder when Jon will hold him to his word. I also wonder if Jon will cut AJ some slack since Jon tends to be more lenient with owners who take accountability. Sadly, Jon has been missing from episodes and losing his voice and sounding sick and raspy, and honestly, looking kind of haggard. So, I also wonder if Jon doesn’t have the energy with this rescue to go bonkers on AJ when the problem is primarily Sabrina? However, I know deep down that AJ’s accountability is merely lip service, evidenced by his failure to properly train a novice GM. Jon would never let an owner off the hook for neglecting such a crucial responsibility. Never. So much “never” that the thought of Jon letting AJ off the hook shakes me to my core—it’s as unfathomable as a Bar Rescue episode without Jon hosting and as deeply unsettling to my soul.

Finally, Jon tells AJ that he has a major problem and it’s on him, too, not just Sabrina.

YAY!!! All is right with the world.

Jon lays into AJ, “You leave her here and then don’t set her up for success either.”

“Yeah, and then you bitch and complain about her incompetency without stepping in to help her. For Christ’s sake, take accountability, AJ!”

Oh, wait, that last part was me adding my own flair. It was necessary, though, because, after Jon tells AJ he’s part of the problem, he instructs them all to clean up the place and leaves.

I eagerly await the staff meeting the next day, hoping Jon’s anger will persist and that he’ll hold AJ accountable then. Instead, Jon shifts gears, expressing his disappointment about the missed potential of what he calls a “great family” with rich cultural roots, blending Mexican and Native American heritage into a vibrant tapestry of food, music, and more. Yet, Jon tells us his initial excitement quickly dissipated as he stepped into what he describes as one of the worst bars he’s ever seen, ever. The gravitas he imparts is strong, especially when he concludes, “Guys, this place is TERRIBLE.”

Having outlined the bar’s shortcomings, Jon shifts his focus to the crux of the episode: the relationship between AJ and Sabrina. Jon doesn’t mince words as he addresses Sabrina’s actions from the previous night, labeling her departure and subsequent shot drinking with customers after being reprimanded as the epitome of unprofessional conduct for a manager.

Sabrina tries to be humble, but she is hurt deeply by longstanding issues between the family and her. She tells Jon she understands his point of view but that it goes deeper. She says, “He disrespects me, too.”

Jon proposes, “Maybe you deserve it?” This shocks Sabrina and causes her to pause and think for a moment.

One of Jon’s many illustrious skills is his adept facilitation of staff meetings. To me, watching the one in this episode was like watching Jon demonstrate the takeaways from “Chapter 7: Listen to Win” in his book, The Power of Conflict. He skillfully gathers information, not only to grasp the dynamics within the bar and among its staff but also to delve into the nuances of everyone’s experiences.

It seems almost counter-intuitive, but Jon’s commanding presence coupled with his curiosity, empathy, and undeniable beneficence always seems to create a nurturing environment where everyone feels safe and respected, enabling open dialogue and mutual understanding. That is, if he wants it to.

This approach often leads to conflict resolution and profound healing among the staff, as exemplified in this episode, where the primary issue at Finesse—tension between AJ and Sabrina—is addressed with clarity and empathy. Jon doesn’t just end the conversation by questioning the professionalism of Sabrina’s actions. He does that, and he follows up her comment with the tough question most people I know would avoid, “Now, I’m going to ask you, ‘Why don’t you have his back?’”

Sabrina answers, “Because it’s been a trust issue from Day One, and I’m the last resort for him, in general. That’s how he puts it out to everybody in our family. I’m the last resort. Is it an excuse? No.” She wipes her tears. “But, he also knows what he is doing to me, and it’s not right.”

Most people I know would stop there if they made it that far. Jon, though, follows up for the sake of clarity, “What is he doing to you?”

“The way he treats me. I am the outcast in the family, and he knows it. He knows exactly.” Then she looks at the other members of her family, “She knows it. Jason knows it.” The pain in her voice is deep.

Jon, always embracing solutions, turns the conversation in that direction, “Are you trying to make it right?” he asks her.

“I’ve been trying to make it right, but it’s never good enough for him. That’s how I see it.”

Although Sabrina has told us this before and Jon made it seem like she was making excuses, he’s now not only creating the space for her to air her viewpoint, he is also validating her while weaving everything together, ten steps ahead of them and moving them toward reconciliation before we even get a word from AJ.

Jon continues, “I can see this is very emotional for you. There’s a family legacy here, isn’t there? Sabrina, this is bigger than just AJ, isn’t it? This is about your son. This is about your sister. This is about Gary. This is important to people.”

Sabrina concurs.

When Jon’s questioning gets to Marleen, she says Sabrina deserves to be manager. The conversation has surely been edited, but by the time we get to AJ, he is a little bit defensive. He tells Jon, “I’ve always given her the benefit of the doubt.”

Jon interrupts to help AJ hear Sabrina more clearly. “She doesn’t think so.” Then he repeats this important point and explains, “She doesn’t think so. You gotta understand, as an owner, it isn’t what you think. It’s what they think.” Then he turns to Sabrina and asks if AJ apologizes to her, does she think they could start fresh? This is probably an even better situation than Sabrina had hoped for, and she says yes.

Then Jon forces AJ to answer the toughest question of all, the one that no one I know would have the gumption to even ask and that illustrates both the interpersonal brilliance and bravery Jon has that inspires me to watch the show 24 times a day—it’s the goal of this entire conversation: “Is Sabrina the person you want to choose or is it time to bring in another manager?” And, damn, if that isn’t raw enough, Jon makes AJ walk up to Sabrina, look her in the eyes, and tell her his decision. AJ not only tells her he chooses her, but he also adds “because I love you.” Now I see what Jon has already seen in AJ.

AJ and Sabrina embrace, and everyone tears up. Jason is relieved and joyful. During a bonus scene, Jason tells us he hasn’t seen AJ and Sabrina embrace in a very long time, and he’s excited for a new start. The family wound has been cleaned and dressed. Hopefully, it will fully heal. Jon adds a little encouragement to speed the process, telling Sabrina, “Now be what he knows you can be.”

Then we are off to the races with training and the stress test. Anthony Lamas is Jon’s chef, and Troy Clarke is the mixologist. They do their best, but the stress test is so awful it’s comedic. The best word that comes to my mind to describe the stress test is “bumbling.” Jon asks who has a drink, and only one person raises their hand. The kitchen runs okay, but in the end, Jon throws in the white towel and shuts the bar down. AJ says they need systems to meet the higher demand of more customers, and, of course, Sabrina needs more training.

The biggest issue for the bartenders is speed, so batching is Jon’s solution. Troy introduces the crazy, fancy cocktail “Rising Storm.” It has clear ice, three types of bitters, and smoke. The only thing I think it’s missing is hibiscus flowers, but I guess Jon can’t make novice bartenders use every fancy option available to them.

In the one-on-one with AJ and Sabrina, Sabrina tells Jon that she learned what she doesn’t know and to take in what other people tell her. She tells him that Finesse has been her outlet since her dad died, but her view has broadened and she has taken in with much greater appreciation what Finesse actually means to the entire family. She tells Jon she isn’t going to be the queen of excuses anymore. Marleen later confirms that she can see and feel a difference between AJ and Sabrina, which gives everyone hope that Jon’s magic has staying power.

To set them up for success, Jon transforms Finesse Lounge into 47 Social. The “47” symbolizes when AJ’s grandfather went to Guam in the military and started a fresh beginning for the family back then as well as Jon’s hopes of creating another new beginning for them now. AJ calls the changes “breathtaking” and is in awe, although Bar Rescue Updates and Reality TV Updates for Bar Rescue both say that the name has been changed back to Finesse Lounge.

Sabrina offers the show’s final insights, which reinforce Jon’s illustriousness. She tells us through tears of gratitude, “Jon, thank you very much for rescuing our bar, helping our family. This meant a lot to me, deeply. To my family. We won’t let you down. I won’t be the queen of excuses anymore.”

It seems Jon has, as usual, accomplished his goals: He fixed the family and the bar.

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I invite you to consider and share your answers in the Comments: Have you read any of Jon’s books? If so, what information did you find most valuable or insightful?